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I Miss You

Yeah, yeah... only got a couple words to say on it...

It's a fanfic, it was written last year, and it's not dedicated to anyone in particular. Well, at least not this version. Originally it was a Mai/Malik, but come the fuck on, that's ridiculous. So, I took him out, changed a few things, and put in the appropiate fella. Oh yeah. It's sappy. But it's a songfic, so of course it is. *shrug* I'm a sucker for romance, sue me. You'll get a piece of paper that says, "You idiot, why'd you sue me? I'm broke." If you like it, that's nice, if you don't, I really don't give a damn. Anyway...

~*~*~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, if I did, then where’s my money? I also do not own I Miss You by Blink-182.

I Miss You
By Iyasu

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Mai..." the golden-blonde whispered as he slept. To most, the dream he was having would be considered a good one, since it was about the woman that he loved. But, to him, it was nothing but one of the worst nightmares he could ever have, a recurring one.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jou was inside a dark void, all alone. He could hear nothing, see nothing. Fear coursed through his veins, for it reminded him of when Marik controlled his body and made him fight his friends. He was lost inside the darkness, despair beginning to engulf him. He closed his eyes, letting the emotionless darkness pull him down to its bosom. "Jounouchi..." a feminine voice called as he began to drown in the darkness and sudden despair.

His eyelids shot open, exposing his haunted amber eyes. "Who's there?" he asked, dreading to know the answer.

A light suddenly beamed down him, severing the hold of the darkness surrounding him. "Jounouchi... I will save you from this fate..." Mai appeared as the source of the light, it illuminating her, making her seem like an Angel. "My love, you shall be free."

As his bonds were broken, some grew upon Mai. "Don’t do this!" Jou screamed, knowing that she would anyway. "Please don’t sacrifice yourself for me."

Mai smiled faintly and replied, "I would do anything for you, including give my life. Remember me, I will protect you with my love..."

The last of the light surrounded Jou, leaving Mai's body dark. The darkness around him vanished, leaving him alone with Mai's body. He held her lifeless body gently, feeling her warmth rapidly dissipate. Finally, her body did as well, leaving him with nothing to show her existence.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jounouchi sat bolt upright in his bed, panting and sweating heavily. "Again... I'm even tortured in my dreams..." He lay down on his back, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hello there...
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night, we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He could still see it, the shadow of Mai's likeness as it slipped past him, saying only one word: "Remember..."

Jou wiped his damp bangs away from his forehead, trying his best not to think of the vain peacock that had stolen his heart. He didn't even know how she had done it, he just realized that one day, after many months, he loved Mai Kujaku. When she entered a room, the first thing he would notice was her proud stride, her aura of self-confidence surrounding her. Next, her violet eyes, usually seen with a glint of mischief, or narrowed in a glare at whoever had ticked her off. Last, but not least, her lips, sometimes held in a devilish smirk, at other times, curved in a graceful smile. Her blonde hair would always gleam in the sunlight, giving her an ethereal look.

But he didn't understand her; it was like she was coming to him, yet pushing herself away from him at the same time. Afraid to tell her how he felt, he kept it to himself. Then, he found out that something was holding her back from him, something terrible. Mai had not voiced her problems, but he saw the pain within her troubled violet eyes every time he had come too close to her. When he did, she would pull herself away from him as if she was afraid of being harmed. Jounouchi began to see less and less of Mai as the says went by, until one devastating day...

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jou heard a knocking upon the door, and went to answer it. Opening the door, he saw Mai standing outside of it. He was shocked to see his Angel's beautiful face streaked with tears. "Mai, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked with concern, wanting to pull her to him terribly, but afraid to do so. He was so focused upon the woman's face that he did not even notice that it was pouring outside, nor did he notice Mai's soaked clothing.

He was surprised when she had suddenly jumped into his arms, burying her face into his chest and holding him tightly to her. Quickly getting over his surprise, he wrapped his arms around Mai, holding her closely to his body, feeling a slight dampness of his clothing against his skin and not caring. He stroked her wet hair gently, trying to comfort her. The two remained like that for some time, until Mai pulled away from him as suddenly as she had ran to him. She looked at him sadly, then said softly, "Jounouchi... I can't see you anymore... ever. I'm sorry... please forgive me..." At that, she turned and ran, not looking back.

"Wait, Mai!" he yelled, not wanting her to leave. Mai did not heed him and soon disappeared from his sight. Jou continued to stand there long afterwards. He couldn't bring himself to move, he felt as if she had pulled out a dagger and stabbed him through the heart, twisting it afterwards.

~*~*~*~*~*~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jounouchi never saw her again. He didn’t even know if she still remained in Domino City or had gone abroad once more, like she had once told him that she was. He still didn’t know the reasoning behind her last words to him. Was it something that he had done to make her leave? Had he come on so strong that he had frightened her away? The blonde didn’t remember making Mai do anything against her will, but maybe he was so limited to what he wanted that he grew blind to what Mai had wanted.

"If I ever did anything wrong, I am beyond sorry..." Jou whispered, feeling like he was the reason behind her decision. His body was tired, but he could not go to sleep, his thoughts way too preoccupied to ever consider sleeping. Without sleep, there would be no dreams; he would not have to relive the torture of losing Mai again. He needed her with him; she was the only thing that could save him from the Darkness that would come over him once again. He knew that it would be even worse this time, darker than ever. Jounouchi glanced at the telephone beside him, wanting to attempt to call her but not sure. He started up at ceiling, his indecision eating him alive. What was tearing him apart was the fact if he even heard her voice, it would be unbearable to him to live without her. As he thought, his heart suddenly gave a painful spasm of longing. To him, it felt as if someone was crushing his heart with his or her hands, most likely Mai, even though she knew naught of it. Jou cried out softly as an incredibly sharp pain racked through his body. "Please, come stop this pain..." he moaned quietly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Where are you, and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on, so haunting every time
And as I stared, I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, Shizuka, seeing Jounouchi's haggard appearance, took him out of the house in an attempt to make him feel better. He followed Shizuka through his favorite places, not really caring where she took him. As they entered one store, he bumped into someone, knocking their bags out of their hands to the floor. "Sorry about that," he said softly, immediately stooping to help the person, not even looking at them.

"Oh, it's fine. I should have been looking at where I was going," they replied, their voice sounding incredibly familiar to him.

As they picked up clothing and other items, they bumped heads. "Ow!" they said in unison. "Are you-" Jou began, looking up at the person, and seeing who it was. "Mai?"

Mai opened her eyes and froze, looking like a deer in headlights. "Jounouchi..." she whispered, the familiar pain entering her eyes. "I... I... never expected to see you here..."

Jou smiled bitterly and finished picking up her purchases. Handing her the bags, he said, "It's okay, run. I know that you want to. I won’t stop you."

Mai stared at him in disbelief. "Are you... sure?" He nodded. She picked up her bags and turned away from him after standing. "It’s not like I want to, I just have to..." She left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Don't waste your time on me, you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
Don't waste your time on me you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Katsuya..." Shizuka asked, stepping beside him.

Jounouchi stood after watching his love leave his life yet again. "It's okay, Sis..." He smiled at her, even though he was torn inside. He had wished that Mai would change her mind and stay, even though he knew that she wouldn't. Tears threatened to fall, but Jou held them in check. He wouldn't cry, at least, not here. As he stood watching the spot where she had been moments before, he thought, That's right Mai... don't waste your time on me... and most importantly, don't waste your heart. Her tear-stained face appeared in his mind again, as it had done so many other times.

Shizuka reached up to caress his cheek. "Are you sure, Onii-chan?" She saw the pain in his eyes and felt a twinge in her heart, for she knew that she could not help him in this.

Jounouchi nodded. "I'm fine," he lied. "I just remembered that there's something I have to do," he said, and with that, he bolted out of the store.

"Onii-chan..." Shizuka whispered, watching him go. I hope he's going after her... she thought.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
Don’t waste your time on me you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jou wanted to know why Mai had left him, so he chased after her. He saw her moving down the street, going towards her car. As he sped to catch up with her, he called her name. "Mai! Stop!" He saw her falter in her steps, before coming to a hesitant stop. Not wasting time, he caught up to her. Fearing that she would vanish before his eyes, he grabbed her around her waist.

Mai stiffened as she felt his touch. "Why did you come after me?" she asked softly, so that only he could hear her in the busy streets.

Pulling her close to him, Jounouchi whispered, "I want to know why you left in the first place. Ever since you did, you've been the voice inside my head..."

Mai attempted to pull away. "Jounouchi..."

Jou simply held her tightly. "Please... tell me, so I can put my heart to rest..."

Mai sighed. "All right. Come with me..." She waited until he had released her, then resumed walking to her car, Jou beside her. When they reached it, Mai popped the trunk and placed her purchases inside. Unlocking the rest of the car, she motioned for Jounouchi to get into the car as she closed the trunk and climbed into the driver's side. Once Jou had gotten in as well, Mai headed to the first place that came to her mind: the park.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
Don’t waste your time on me you’re already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When they arrived, the two of them exited the car and went into a secluded area. Mai sat down on a bench, and Jounouchi sat beside her. "I left because..." Mai began. "Because..."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I really like you, Mai," Varon said, pulling her close. "I hate to see you hurting like this..." He looked deep into her violet eyes. "Forget about Jounouchi Katsuya..."

"But-but Varon..." Mai replied. "I can’t."

Varon all but yelled, "Why not!?"

Mai smiled sadly. "Because I love him. And then, I left him... because I knew that I'd hurt him if I followed my heart. I'm meant to be alone. I'll make alliances; I'll stick around for a while. But never expect me to always be there."

Varon's eyes softened. "No, Mai... you're not. I thought that I was meant to be alone too, but then I met you. Someday, you'll meet someone that will convince you of the same."

Mai laughed bitterly. "Right, Varon," she scoffed, pulling away from him.

"It’s true!" he protested. "You'll know it when no matter how hard you try, you see, hear, or feel them everywhere..." Varon gave her a sad smile. "I hope you meet them, so you can be happy."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I wanted to know if Valon's words were true..." Mai finished.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jou was itching to ask 'Are they?' but instead he said, "I see..."

"And even if they are," Mai added, "I'm not sure that I won't hurt you."

At that Jounouchi snapped. Leaping up from the park bench, he stood in front of her and yelled, "What do you think you're doing now!? I haven't smiled since you left! I can barely remember what happiness feels like! Did you ever think that you would hurt me by leaving!? Did you!?"

Mai just stared at him, her eyes wide with shock. "Jounouchi, I-"

"-And you know what the worst part of it is, Mai? It's that I don't care. I don't care if you did it all again. Why? Because I love you..." the golden-blonde whispered. Jou turned his back to Mai. There was nothing but silence, until he heard a heart-wrenching sob coming from behind him. It was Mai, but he would not go to her. It was up to Mai, not him. It hurt him terribly, not helping her. I'm sorry Mai, but I can't help you, not this time... Still the sobs continued, and Jounouchi tried to block out the sound, lest it drive him mad. His amber eyes snapped shut as he balled his hands into fists. The pain of knowing that he was the cause of her tears was about to consume him. A tear slowly trickled down his cheek.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I never knew... Mai thought as she drew her legs up to her chest, folded her arms across them, and proceeded to do what she hardly did: cry. He took it... without a complaint... all for me... She looked up over her knees and saw Jou standing a few feet away, facing from her. "I can't do this..." she whispered to herself.

"You have to, Mai," Varon’s voice seemed to say in her mind. "But only if he's the one..."

Mai continued to look at Jounouchi, her heart aching with the knowledge that even though she had tried her hardest, she had succeeded in breaking his heart, over and over again. Her body shook with the onslaught of sobs. I was once so proud and uncaring... is this what I’m reduced to?

"Don't think of it as a setback, think of it as an advancement," Varon's voice said.

Mai’s sobs began to slack off; now she knew what she needed to do, to save them both. When she quit sobbing, she rose to her feet. A gentle breeze blew though the two blondes' hair as the sun began to set.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She took a hesitant step towards him, then stopped. She was in unfamiliar territory and knew not what to do. "What if I leave again?" she asked.

Jou answered without turning around, "You'd come back."

She took a step closer. "And if I don't?"

"You would." Jounouchi answered with a note of finality.

"Jounouchi," Mai said softly, "Why do you take this pain? How can you live with it, eating at you like this?"

Jou turned to face her, opening his eyes and relaxing as he did so. "I do it for you. I know that you do the same. I can live with anything if I have you."

Mai moved even closer, until she was directly in front of him. "I miss you, Jounouchi..." she whispered, touching his cheek. "I-"

She was silenced by Jounouchi's index finger upon her lips. "I know."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(I miss you, miss you...)
(I miss you, miss you...)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I just realized how easy it is for me to make fun of my own writing, especially with this, 'cause well... I don't know. I just happened to remember I had this too. So... yeah. But seriously, stuff like that does not happen very often in real life. I mean seriously, that woman runs always. *in Middle-Eastern accent* Always. *end accent* I'm sitting here like, 'Damn, stay in one fucking spot'... but no... *eyes widen* You know what... I think I'm just going to shut the hell up, because I used to have that problem... who knows... I might still have it... yeah... so... I just dissed myself... Um... I'm going to go now, before I insult myself further. *nod* Ja ne!